So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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