i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
