I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize