just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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