3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
