why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize