im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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