Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize