Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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