I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
