Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
