Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
