the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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