The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
