Umm I'm too high to move.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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