You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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