just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
