her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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