let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
