I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
