i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize