Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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