Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
