Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
