Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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