apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
