obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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