Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!