I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
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The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
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I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?