the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.