dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick