I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
