why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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