I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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