Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize