she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
