I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Sober January is a disaster.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize