im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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