What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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