Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
