and you said cock pushups were impossible
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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