what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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