Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize