She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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