I can tuck mytits in my pants
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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