Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
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