when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Randomize
