I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
