I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I want a musical about memes.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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