i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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