i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize