i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
