third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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