the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
