help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
